Only D*****bags Believe in Luck

“Ohmygawd, he’s so lucky!” #

I hear this on a freakishly frequent basis, and every time it rankles. I feel alone in my plight against the lucksters of our world. Where did they come from? Why does no one else help with the “Good Fight”?

Whether you’re a sportsman, a sports fan, videogamer, careerist or lackluster individual, you will hear the luck-pandemic being bandied about often in every day conversation.

“How the hell did he make that shot?”

“You did not just get anoooother kill!”

“She got promoted and I didn’t. @&#%!”

Regardless of the situation, 95% of people who say the above are douchebags. And here’s why.

Anything skill-based is dismissed immediately when described as lucky. The statement strips all merit and all skill out of a win, making it mere happenstance; it’s now no different than the probability of getting run over by a semi truck on a Tuesday. It’s all pure chance, right?

If there were fewer of these deprecating douchebags in the world, a possible scenario might be to hear, “Adam Vinatieri has been practicing football since before he hit puberty, has squatted more times than I’ve hit the snooze button in my life, and has made it his life’s work to be good at kicking field goals. That game winning kick was amazing. Props to him.”

It comes down to this–if you have no respect for someone, say everything they have accomplished was lucky.

The more likely the situation is that they’ve built connections, slaved to be in the right place at the right time, and have finally achieved an inevitability based on their personal commitment and dedication to a goal.

So to all those providence-ascribing people out there, a very douchy morning to you too.